Sunday, August 17
psst...
After Bug cried the other day when he saw a car like yours... and cried when he started playing Lego Star Wars without you... you misdial him at 1:30 this morning? I know you didn't mean to call him, but he was so excited that you called. He said, "He must have needed me for something, I better call him back, it must be important for him to call me that late." These kids love you so much, you are such a jerk for writing them off the way you did. I will never answer a booty call from you again, just out of respect for my children. I have no respect for myself, obviously, if I'd let you jerk me around the way you have. But I MUST have respect for them and I will not let you pull the string and have your way again. Yeah, I'm the best you'll ever have, but you don't deserve me. I saw someone's quote recently that said something like, "If you can't handle me at my worst, you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." I am an amazing woman. I have flaws, yes, but so does everyone. I was willing to do anything to keep you. I am hilarious, I am hot, I am smart, I enjoy the same things as you, we had an amazing sex life, we had well-behaved kids, we had a house, a cat, a dog, two cars, two incomes... we had the fucking American Dream, just like you said in your love letter. You'll realize one day, if you haven't already, that you had everything you wanted and you let it go. And you're too stubborn to ever tell me when that day comes. I am doing so well right now, the store has drama like it always did, but I am doing so well with my new life philosophy (which you basically mocked) that I am able to separate myself from it all and I don't even bring it home anymore. I never yell at the kids for no reason, we have so much fun. The new job is in the works, so we'll be able to get our own place soon. I still think about you a lot, but it's only because I was so used to having you around. Being in a new place makes it easier, but I still miss you in so many ways. Even now I bounce to moments when I just want things back the way they were and I want OUR life back. But those moments are getting farther apart. So I know you're reading this. And I know you were just tired of playing "house" with me and the kids, so I hope you get exactly what you deserve out of life. I love you with all my heart, and so do your kids. But we'll be fine.
Photo by Luis Quintero from Pexels